Unessecary Censorship

One of my favorite things in the world is swearing.  This bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live toasts to censorship... Love it.  Obama at the end.  "I'm f$%* UP!"

Go Little Man!! Go! For it!

Bill Dance Bloopers.

Some classic stuff here.  Pull up!! Pull up!! Pull it out!

Yes, Yes and YES!!

The best comment I've seen on this video thusfar is, "if women's soccer was really like this, I would watch!"

Touchdown Iowa

Well I went to Iowa City this weekend to partake in a glorious amount of tailigating and football watching.  Sarah had to stay home for a wedding.  Sorry sweetheart.  But thanks for letting me go.  I was fortunate to hang out with Nick for a while before the game at his house, and his mom came up with a ticket for me to the game.  For face value nonetheless.  Most tickets were going for $150-$400 on the street.  After seven hours of drinking beer, the game finally arrived.

After a sloppy game, Iowa pulled through and won against Michigan.  You could say that we made Michigan, our Bitchigan.

Jacked UP!

It's been a while since my last post.  But I've had problems finding awesome stuff... Well here it is kids.  The Top Ten Bone-Crushing PeeWee Football hits of all time. 

Trust me, you're gonna want to watch the carnage of these 9 year old Lawrence Taylors'

.

Our Bountiful Harvest

Well here it is folks.  It's harvest time.  And though we aren't harvesting corn or beans by the light of the autumn moon, we did harvest a shit-load of Anaheim Peppers last night.  If you want some you probably need to tell us.  Because last night we have stuffed peppers, tonight salsa.  Basically peppers on everthing until they're gone.  I feel like an awesome farmer, minus the sheep-&#$%ing.

White Trash Wedding

So, my best follower of this blog was so kind as to take a picture for me and suggest I put in on the blog for all to see.  Thank you to BJ and Kristen for confirming exactly what we all think of Fort Dodge, IA. 

While I will admit this does happen in Iowa, I'm sure the people surfng the "internets" are going to assume that because the sign right behind them says "des moines river", this is what Des Moines, Iowa is like.  We get a bad enough rap as it is.  Way to go BJ.  I'll give you a snippet of what his email to me said here, "We were just leaving this wedding in "The Dirrrrty" (Fort Dodge) and saw this random whitetrash wedding. Couldn't resist taking this picture of this fat chick and her tiny husband drinking a beer."

Love it.
If anybody else comes across things like this, feel free to send them to me.  It's a team effort here.  I'm upset that I didn't take a picture of the "little girl swinging a road kill squirrel while skipping down the street" incedent that I witnessed several weeks ago.  But I won't make that mistake again.

Sarah's Favorite You Tubes

I thought it was time to post my ALL TIME favorite You Tube video's. I am pretty sure everyone in the world has seen these, but still they are classics.

"Little Black Boy" is my families favorite. For some reason every holiday that we get together we have to look him up and then try to imitate him. My aunt Jeanne and Ande have gotten pretty good at it.



Next.... Who hasn't seen "Charlie?" I just want to eat him up.

My Minnesota friends first introduced me to this one... UUUUUGH UUUUGH OW OW OW I can't breathe!!


Finally.... The Sneezing Panda


I've decided that it'd be a good idea to just put the top 100 viral video's in 4 minutes up.

TOXIC

It's Britney Bitch

The city of Des Moines had the pleasure of hosting the circus...The Britney Circus!

THe show consisted of 9 outfit changes, 38 semi trucks, 30 dancers, a $60 million dollar production, and one HOT MAMA!!!

Here are some of my favorite pictures.

Britney sang a remake of "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morisette.

"Everytime"  you remember the video where she drowns herself in the bathtub?

Britney gives a "lap dance" to someone in the crowd.

The songs were "Touch of My Hand" and "Breath on Me"

"Womanizer"

All the Single Babies!

Ok, So it's been well documented that I can dance like the mythical offspring of Beyonce and Justin Timberlake, but this kid has got it goin' on. 


I'm pretty sure I look better than him dancing to this song, but perhaps I'm biased.  For the record, at a recent wedding I really injured my neck dancing to this song.  I couldn't turn my head for a week.

This is beautiful

Listen I hate Tim Tebow and Florida fans as much as the next guy, but gotta give this girl props.

Broncos

So, I'm somewhat of a Broncos fan.  I lived there for a while, went to a few games, I'm pissed at Jay Cutler like everyone else.  I was watching the game last weekend when Brandon Stokely caught a miracle deflection touchdown for 60 yards with time expiring, and I yelled.  (might have scared Sarah)  Anyways, someone out in internet land was kind enough to make a Super Techmo Bowl rendition of this miraculous catch. 

This really brings back memories of getting smoked by Wuj playing this stupid game.

Here are some other memory making video game moments

THE NIGERIAN NIGHTMARE!



OK, after searching for more awesome video game moments for half an hour I realized that this post is pretty stupid and I should just cut my losses... Have a great weekend!!!

Hooters

I'll never forget when Ned Skinner told me the story of how a few Fraternity Brothers of his went down to Clearwater Beach, FL for spring break because a TKE from Iowa State (I think) started Hooters.  They flew into town and were picked up by this guy.  Taken to his estate on the ocean and then straight out to the water on a yacht with a dozen or so Hooters girls and all the booze they could drink.  I know it sounds unreal, but ask him, it happened.

Going along with that recurring dream that runs through my head each and every day, I ran across this today.  The Hooters Swimsuit Pageant.  Wow.

"why hello to you too"

Fenway Experience

So I haven't told my Boston story yet, and note: none of my pictures have Sarah in them... oops.  Well the pictures I have are from the walk to Fenway.  We had to walk several miles from our Hotel (though it was probably only 1 mile)  As a matter of fact just down the street from our hotel stood an establishment with the exact measurements....

It's exactly 1200 steps to Fenway Park.

Anyways, on the way to the game we ran into several annoying New Yorkers.  The Sawx were playing the Mets on this lovely May evening.  The nice thing about Mets fans is that they hate the Yankees just as much as Red Sox Fans.  So we took this picture to commemorate that mutual feeling of hatred.

He asked if I wanted to pee on the jersey, but even I thought that would be inappropriate.  At least in public.  We had a wonderful time at the game, even though Papelbon blew a save in the 9th to lose.  Seems like whenever I go to games, the team I'm cheering for loses.  Maybe I need to be fan of some different teams.  Or at least not go to any playoff games.

"Hope"

Keeping with my promise with Annie, I'm going to continue to blog every day this week.  Radom things from around the internet is the point of this post.  Be looking forward to some Nate & Meg worthy posts on our home.... Always exciting to build the anticipation only to fail in everones eyes.

Now, what do you suppose this dude is thinking???  I'm thinking, "what is that tingly feeling?"  Please feel free to comment.  Best comment get's a hand-written thank you note on company letterhead from your's truly.

On a football related note...  Here's a great way for us guys to help our ladies with those difficult to answer questions that arise during the game.  Oh, and any single ladies out there?  Put the Monday Night Football Ringtone on your phone, when your phone rings... jackpot.  Guys will be lining up.

Check this out... Plain and Simple... Federer is unstoppable.

Unless it's in 5 set matches in the final of a major in the year 2009.  (he's lost 2 of those)

I always try to keep my blog friends updated with the best websites on the internet, and this is the latest that I've found... It's called "RegretfulMorning.Com"  The best part, is their tag line, "we laugh at your misfourtune."  It's sad that I didn't know about this in college.

See you tomorrow blog world.

Good work monkey, good work.

Seriously, WTF

HOLY SHIT! IS that a Tiger!

OK, I get it.  She's a bit off.  But this "outfit" that Lady Gaga wore at the VMA's last night has a life of it's own.  I can't believe I'm not even commenting on the jacket and general gayness of the person standing next to her.  Sad day for him I guess.

I'm sure everyone has heard about it, but the highlight of the show was Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift's Acceptance speech for Female Video of the Year.

What a bitch. 

But Beyonce was the class of the evening with this showing after winning her award.


On Katy Perry's Twitter feed, "F*** You Kanye it's like you stepped on a kitten"

From Pink, "Kanye West is the biggest piece of sh-- on earth. Quote me," she wrote. "My heart goes out to Taylor Swift. She is a sweet and talented girl and deserved her moment. She should know we all love her. Beyonce is a classy lady. I feel for her, too. It's not her fault at all, and her and Taylor did their thing. And douche bag got kicked out"

Love it.

Girls

Here's the girls
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Missy & Ben's Wedding

Here ya go kelly
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Ellie

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

HAPPY BDAY MEGS!!

Happy Birthday to my G Phi Bestie Megan!!

Here are some of my favorites :)

What the h*** is going on in this pic you ask? Well for some reason I cannot explain Megan and Ali had a GIANT pair of granny panties in their couch and of course we had to see how many people could fit in it. (yes all three of us are in the Grannies) Don't worry Annie I have another good one of you impersonating Don Don in the Grannies- I'll save it for your birthday.

Nate- I also think this is my favorite Megan pose.

I hope Megans "hobby" isn't news to you Nate.

Love You Megs!!

This kid really doesn't want to part with his Bacon.

Listen, everyone loves Bacon.  But this kid will go to great lengths to protect his bacon. 


I can't believe how intelligent this little southerner is.  He uses some pretty big words.

Pug Summer

SO you all know how Sarah wants to get a Pug.  Well here's a great reason why we shouldn't.  They can't swim.  Look at thing thing paddling, and it's not even in the water.  BTW, worst music video ever.

State Fair '09

I know everyone is looking forward to this post... Which by the way, if you're reading this, comment for God's Sake! Or just say you're following the blog (upper right ----->) So I know who my audience is. Anyways....

We went to the Iowa State Fair last night. My goodness what a shit-show. Nothing but mullets, non-handicapped fat people in rascals, fried food, and fat people as far as the eye can see. Basically the perfect storm of eating as much unhealthy food as possible, and still making fun of people that are eating more.

I'll start out with the highlight of the day for me. This was the most tricked out Rascal I have ever seen. This one looks like it had 4-wheel drive, chrome wheels, a trailer for your lazy friends, and TWO, count 'em TWO cup-holders on the trailer! Basically a "white-trash mobile." The best part about the whole thing is that people are riding these things all over the place, NONE of which are actually handicapped. They're just lazy and fat.

While at the fair this year we were able to see Julianne Hough at the free stage. Well no one there was actually a fan of the music she sings, (except for Sarah and a select few people who were actually cheering) Most of the people there just knew her from Dancing With The Stars and were hoping that Shawn Johnson was going to be there. She did look excellent. But the highlight was outside the show when we saw this couple......

For those who can't see, this is a guy in a Kilt WITH a Mullet, and and his lovely bride. With a wide load.

It's well documented that fair food is incredibly unhealthy. But that's the point. My sister-in-law's Boyfriend Kenton thinks that fair food is absolutely disgusting. Which is why I took this picture. They have deep fat fried Green Beans, Zucchini and Cauliflower. What could be more healthy than that? It certainly wasn't the deep-fried Snickers bar that I had. (If you're thinking to yourself, "wow Brian... that sounds amazing." You're right, it was.) More food stuff to come.

Next you'll notice the Stroller parking for all the parents. I won't make too much fun of this due to the fact that we were there with BJ and Kristen and their little guy Drew. But still... Stroller parking? Huh.

This is Sarah with something new at the fair this year. Pineapple Whip Ice Cream. Yes, it was amazing.

And here she is with another fair staple. These little morsels of awesomeness are known as "Cheese Curds". Basically a ball of cheese, covered in batter and deep fried in grease. YES!

That concluded our trip to the fair. I'm sure Sarah will post her picture from the actual camera sometime soon, so stay tuned. Until then, keep on eating.

On a side note: I weighed myself before I went to the fair, and then again when I came back... Lost 1.9 lbs. You're thinking, "But Brian, how could that be??!?!" Well, we walked a lot, and the monkey laid a large brown banana in the bathroom. All in all, a successful trip to the fair.

Poo Trap

Someone PLEASE order one of these and let me know if it works. My goodness, I hope this doesn't make someone a millionaire.

Sarah Darling CD Release Party

If you are a country music fan you may recognize the song Jack of Hearts by Sarah Darling. Sarah Darling is a up and coming country artist that happens to be originally from Iowa! She went to South East Polk High school and is from Mitchelville (just east of Des Moines). After graduating high school she moved to Nashville to pursue a music carreer.

July 28th was the release of her first album and Best Buy in Des Moines hosted a cd release party for her. Being a huge country fan I couldn't pass up this exciting opportunity, and my friend Natasha was super excited to come with me. Sarah autographed our cds and sang about 7 songs from her new album , Every Monday Morning.

After seeing her live Natasha and I are even more obsessed with her! She has an incredible voice, she's gorgeous and she wrote all of her songs on the album.

MY FIRST BLOG!!! 1st Anniversary- Boston, MA

So I finally figured out this blogging business. I am going to start with our 1st anniversary that was back in May. We took a long weekend trip to Boston. Home of the Red Sox. Possibly the reason why we went :)

Some highlights of our trip:

*Lobster (twice)

*Red Sox game-they lost in the 9th inning...annoying, but still Brian's HEAVEN!!

*Duck boat tour of the city

*Meeting up with our friend Mike. He picked us up from the airport, took us to dinner (can't remember the name) and took us to a bar called The Black Rose-ironically my parents used to hang out there when my dad was at Harvard Business School. Thanks Mike!!

*The Fairmont Copley Plaza- our gorgeous hotel with 10 dollar orange juice(don't even ask how much the liquor was).

*The Museum of Natural History- rocks, crystals, a ton of dead stuffed animals, and dinosaurs...awesome!

*Curious George Store- Yes an entire store with curious george!! Sarah's HEAVEN!

*Dinner at the Union Oyster House

It was fabulous First Anniversary! Love you bebes!!

Monkeys that think they're human scare me.

I ran across this site today, I wonder how long it will take sarah to read it. (due to the fact that she never blogs on this site.) It's titled the 50 Funniest Monkey Photos of All time. Some good stuff here, I'm sure my wife the person who wants a monkey will love it.

Just a reminder to everyone...

Seriously guys... No Blowjobs or peeing on the floor in this bathroom. I can't say that I'm proud I found this picture floating about the internet. But I can say this website has some incredible picture galleries of similar things. 87% of which are hilarious. 100% of which are dedicated solely to men, and the art of looking at half/fully naked women.

This Snuggie thing is getting out of control

https://www.snuggiefordogs.com/flare/next

My favorite is the poodle sitting next to her decrepid old owner while she knits away.

My Morning at Work

I had a sales call this morning down at Wells Fargo Arena here in Des Moines. We got up the rafters to take a look at some lights... I took a couple pictures. Whoa. long way down. 120' in the air above an AstroTurf field is a bit unsettling.

Wedding Awesomeness (UPDATED!!)

I can't believe we had 14 weddings last summer, most of the people that are reading this (is anyone actually reading this???) probably had more than we did last summer... and no one came up with an idea like this. I'm going to be really disappointed with Missy and Ben if they don't do something like this...



I understand the girls had a nice time in Minnesota this weekend. I heard they watched some of the videos that I've posted, well here's the follow up for the wedding dance. How awesome would this be if a best man did this for a speech. Of course I could see my grandparents sitting there like, "what it this song, and why is he singing it on a boat?"

Holy shit this is awesome.

This turtle has game. look at him bump this turtle ho.

This just in. Constance Bay looks awesome.

Holy shit. That's not right. I think the question here is, "what exactly is it trying to say?" Obviously it's a gross mistake by the manufacturer of this sign. But my god... really?

Does Constance Bay have diving into a lake with a pervert standing behind you? Do they have random strangers feeling the breasts of women as they pick up the change they dropped at the grocery store? Perhaps it's perfectly legal and encouraged to have back-door sex in public. Whatever it is, I want to live there.


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Also, check out this dumb bitch.